Henry: Yeah, well, he also wore tutus and ate whole bakeries, Frank. Hawkeye: How about my place in five minutes?įrank: 'He who controls the skies controls the war.' Hermann Goering said that. Hawkeye: Someone switched us in our cribs. Margaret: There isn't a nurse in this camp they haven't tried to molest.įrank: I'm a major. Hawkeye: (imitating her, like Trapper did with the feet stamping) I. (Margaret stamps her feet in frustration, like a small child Trapper imitates her) Trapper: You stay out of this, Hot Lips, or I'll stop selling tickets to your shower days. Margaret: He's right, Captain! They're both impossible!

I've never once taken out the insides of a mockery. He turns everything into a hollow mockery. Hawkeye: Frank showed up here cracked, with a bible in one hand and shorts that said 'Hold me' in the other.įrank: (about Hawkeye) And this one has no respect for decency. Immediately following Mass this Sunday, Yom Kippur services will be held for all Jewish personnel of the Hebrew faith.įrank: (to Hildebrand) I resent that, Captain! I, for one, have not cracked because of the war. Hawkeye: And you're talking to a man who's taken a lot of nurses into back seats. Trapper: (about Margaret) Every nurse I've ever known takes a back seat to the Major. Hawkeye: Yeah, we were gonna join them and make one big nurse. Hawkeye: Because the other one is full of tonsils. Trapper: Actually, I was thinking of becoming a bum doctor, but the proctology class was full.įrank: Why is someone's appendix in this boot? Hildebrand: He must be stealing their clothes.įrank: It's disgusting that you sleep in your underwear.įrank: You both look more like bums than doctors. Henry: There's nothing wrong with Klinger. Hildebrand: Well, then, that's what it looks like. Hildebrand: Well, what do you think it looks like? Henry: I mean, it's not what it looks like. Henry: (after Klinger leaves) I can explain that. (Klinger delivers some x-rays to Henry while he's talking to Captain Hildebrand, a psychiatrist sent to study the 4077th) This will take a while, since there's so many episodes and so many quotes to choose in each, so I've decided to divide things into 6 posts - one for each disk. Because I have nothing better to do, I've decided to make a compilation of my favourite quotes from my shiny new M*A*S*H DVDs.

Mash divided we stand